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In online-dating speak, these inactive users are known as “date bait.” Their presence on the site inflates the number of messages sent.It’s a fine line, one that users should continue to question: “What’s fair in love and business? Get Your Hand Out of the Cookie Jar It’s one of the biggest pitfalls Slater warns of in the e-dating field: choice overload.And if you’re one of the 90 million singles in America, you can do it online.Just in time, there's a whole bunch of new research on the topic, from Amy Webb’s Data, a Love Story, in which the author games the system to find her match, to Dan Slater’s Love in the Time of Algorithms, a naked account of the pluses and pitfalls of online dating.After a series of “comically bad” dates, she felt defeated, as though online dating “only made it easier to meet a whole bunch of wrong men, the kind who lied in their profiles or who had major character faults.” But instead of giving up, she got mathematical.
But one universal goal of every online dater emerged: to “get offline as quickly as possible.”In other words, online dating is survival of the fittest.
But it’s likely you know your own hottest look, so use it.
Ok Trends, a complementary blog to Ok Cupid that explores the data of online dating, presents powerful evidence to back up Rudder’s “hot” rule: a woman deemed hot by one study received four times as many messages as an average one—and 25 times as many as an ugly one.
She seems less ideal, more needy, more like that girl—what was her name, Kate? Suddenly you find yourself nonchalantly checking your Ok Cupid profile, and there she is—hand-job girl—along with a thousand of others, just as pretty, just as promising, just as available as when you left.“Online dating is, at its core, a litany of alternatives,” Slater writes.
“And evidence shows that the perception that one has appealing alternatives to a current romantic partner is a strong predictor of low commitment to that partner.” The key then, is to know when to leave it all behind—the endless databases, the date bait, those “fun” opening sentences—and learn to love the one you’re with.
Stay Weird (In Other Words, ‘Do You’)Online dating sites thrive on individuality—specifically, yours. From goth dating to plus-size, prisoners to gold diggers, these sites revolve around one thing: honesty.