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He writes to tell me that he is riddled with arthritis and walks with the aid of two sticks, but 'let me reassure you that my lack of mobility in no way affects my performance in the bedroom'.
Most of the British-based men who contact me are aged 25 to 35 and aren't attractive enough to be employed as a rich woman's arm candy.
Then there is Kevin, a toothless roofer from Pontefract, who writes: 'I knows how to treet a lady rite and if you pick me you wont be disserpointed.' Oh, Kevin, I think I will.
Not forgetting Ian from Newport who, at 54, is surely too old to qualify as a sugar baby.
Just when I am despairing of finding a decent sugar baby, I receive a message from Alex in London - a handsome 30-year-old who assures me he adores mature women.
There's just one small hitch that may prevent this beautiful budding romance from blossoming - Ricardo thinks I'm worth £20million and that I am going to rescue him from his life of drudgery working at a call centre.
He wants me to be his sugar mummy - someone to dress him, pamper him and travel the world with, all at my expense, of course.
Purely in the name of investigative journalism, you understand, I set about finding out by attempting to net myself a fortune-hunting toyboy.
I complete my profile on the website, claiming to be the rich, 42-year-old owner of a string of exclusive fashion boutiques, who finds men my own age are intimidated by successful women.
Ricardo is a tall, handsome and suave 28-year-old Italian.